In July 2018 I was heading to shoot a family beach session in Brigantine NJ. One of my best friends who happens to also be an amazing wedding and portrait photographer was in AC shooting a boudoir session for one of her clients. Since we don’t get to see each other often she said, come stop by and we can play! I’ll photograph you! I was scared as F! I had never been photographed this way before. Being that my husband and I were coming up on our 10 year anniversary I said what the heck lets go!
I thought it was naked photos.
I’m not lying. As a “newer” photographer I had no idea really what it was about. All I knew was I was NOT getting naked! Even though this was a good friend photographing me I was still nervous. So in 2022 when I talk with my clients I know exactly what they are going through. I walked away from my “Let’s play around” shoot, empowered, feeling like a million bucks, and appreciating my body and embracing all of my flaws. YES I also have insecurities about my body.
I was bullied as a kid.
I wasn’t the “cool kid”, I didn’t have the brand name clothing. Heck I lived in the middle of nowhere surrounded by farms and cows. I wore glasses, I still do today, I played the flute, and I was a little plump for my age. I remember in 6th grade a boy called me a HOE. My response, “Why are you calling me a garden tool”. Yes…. I had no idea what he meant. Why I remember that still at 41 blows my mind. I was insecure about my body and what people thought of me. It haunted me for years, into my twenties and a few years into my marriage. Will I ever be good enough? Pretty enough? Strong enough? Just enough.
When women inquire about a boudoir session they want to do it for so many reasons. The #1 reason I get is, “ I want to give my significant other an album”. Yes! Gifting your significant other an album of you all looking some type of fine is all types of fun. BUT, do it for you. Not for them. AND if you are giving it, you both are winning! Getting basically naked in front of someone that you hardly know isn’t the easiest. BUT seeing those photos right after your shoot will make you forget all about that jazz! Accepting all of you is the first part of loving yourself. You are not doing this for someone else, you are ultimately doing this for yourself.
I love changing the way women see themselves. I do this because it gives me a natural high when I see your eyes water up at your reveal. When you can not believe that is you on the screen. I do this because I get to know you, and after I’ve delivered your album you come running to me and tell me that this is JUST what your marriage needed. I do this because you are struggling with postpartum, and you ARE THE QUEEN, a WOMAN that birthed life into the world. I do this because I have helped so many women see themselves in a body positive light. I photograph boudoir because it lights my fire and I love watching each and everyone of you embrace who you really are! A true BADDIE!
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